In the last article I wrote, I talked about forgiving others and how Jesus willingly took the punishment that he didn’t deserve so that we could be forgiven. In this article, I would like to talk about another HUGE aspect of forgiveness, forgiving yourself.
Just like forgiving someone else, forgiving ourselves can be just as difficult, if not more. When you do wrong to someone, you may usually feel bad about it, which is good! God has given us the Holy Spirit and a conscience which play big roles in determining what’s right and wrong.
But what happens when we let that shame and regret….control us? And what about when even after we’ve apologized and hopefully received forgiveness, we still feel super guilty and it feels like there’s fish swimming around in our insides, sticks around longer than it should?
In the last article, I used the story of Easter to illustrate forgiveness, but there is another story, within the easter story, of a man who didn’t forgive himself, who didn’t accept that Jesus had forgiven him, and who acted very rashly. This man’s name was Judas. We all know the story of Judas, right? He was a disciple of Jesus and then later he decides to betray Jesus and hands him into the hands of the Pharisees, who later handed Jesus over to his death (through the Romans). Well, right before the last supper (the Passover), we see Judas going into the temple and asking the chief priests how much money they would give him if he handed Jesus over, and with 30 pieces of silver, the deal was sealed.
BUT a little while later, when Judas saw that Jesus’ case was lost and he was indeed going to die, Judas regretted what he had done and went back to the temple, tried to give the priests back their money, but they rejected it saying, “What use is it to us? See to it yourself”. After this, the Bible says that Judas threw the money to the ground and, out of regret and shame, he ended his own life.
Now, I know this is a very extreme case, but look at what regret can do, how powerfully it can speak lies into your life and tell you that you’re unforgivable, a screw up, or maybe even that you’re not worth Jesus’s love. When Judas saw he’d messed up, he threw logical thinking to the wind and made a big mistake.
So what I want this story to show us is that we can’t be a Judas. When we mess up it’s good to feel guilty, but you can’t let it control you. Look at what Jesus was doing for Judas! Look at what he did for all of us! He died so that the heavy cloud of shame and regret and mistakes doesn’t have to loom over our heads. We are free! Free from past regret, shame, and embarrassment.
Don’t be a Judas. Don’t let your mistakes define your future. Jesus died so that they don’t.
But what are some ways we can let go of our regret? Well here are two things we can do.
1.) When we’ve sinned against someone else and we feel like we need to ask for forgiveness, do just that! Ask for forgiveness! Let them know that you messed up and that you’re sorry. Once they’ve forgiven you, there is no reason to continue to feel guilty. There is no room for shame when grace enters the room!
But what happens when they won’t forgive you? Well, again, make it clear to the person that you're sorry and that you recognize that you messed up. And if they don’t forgive you then, well… That’s on them. If you have done your best to make it clear that you are sorry and that you recognize that you have sinned against them, the weight is on them for not forgiving you, not you. You no longer have a reason to feel ashamed.
2.) I feel like I’ve said this in every single article, but, Give it to GOD! When you can’t seem to forgive yourself, remind yourself that God has forgiven you and that you don’t need to feel ashamed.
I had fun writing this article! And I hope you guys have fun reading it! Remember that you’re loved and not alone!
Until next time,
~Willow :)
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