Reverse culture shock

I don’t know about you guys, but I can feel summer in the air. The winds are getting warmer, the days are getting longer, and the sweet bliss of summer vacation is getting closer and closer. Speaking of holidays, how many of you travel back to your home/passport countries during summer break? 

For some TCKs, the thought of going back to their passport country is like a breath of fresh air, whereas the mere idea can trigger mixed feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness or fear in others. Why is this?

When I was younger, going back to my passport country was an incredible adventure. In my mind the term “home country” was synonymous with endless summer fun. I could expect to be lavished with beach parties, treats, play dates and more whenever we went back to the loving arms of teary grandparents and doting relatives. Naturally, I loved all the fun things we got to do and I enjoyed spending time with our extended family. 

Then Covid hit…

Covid-19 swept through my area of the world like a wildfire, causing the government to put the country on a strict, military enforced, lockdown. I remember that at one point I didn’t leave my house for a span of almost two months! Sound familiar? Everyone of our generation will have their Covid stories…

Anyways, long story short, during that tumultuous period of time, travel became a thing of the past, and my family and I didn’t visit our home country for a few years. That may not seem like a big deal to most of you, and at the time it really didn’t affect me that much either.  I loved where I lived; my home on the edge of the Sahara desert, the sea, my neighbors, my life. However, a lot can happen in a few years' time, and for me, that period also happened to coincide with beginning to go from being a little girl to a young woman. When we finally managed to travel again a lot had changed for me. Not only did I have a whole new physical look, I also had a more mature, nuanced outlook on my life and the lives of others. 

It was like some sort of strange dream. The waves of culture shock that hit me over the next couple summers visiting my home country were severe and caused me to feel complex emotions concerning the nation’s culture and values, the people around me, and even my own extended family members.  I was no longer a little girl who could only see the bright aspects of life in my home country.  Rather, I was viewing everything through the eyes of a much older person, a person who could think more in depth, a person who had beliefs and world views that clashed with the privileged and sometimes seemingly close-minded worldviews of the people “back home.” 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I still love visiting my extended family. I appreciate all the prayer and generous support that folks over there have given us over the years. Yet I can’t help feeling overwhelmed by the culture which, according to the terms of my nationality, is supposed to be ‘mine’- something I’m supposed to understand, be familiar with, and be able to swim along unquestioning in its current. I can’t help feeling stung when people who mean well seem to disregard the genuine love I feel for the country I live in.

  Once again, don’t get me wrong, there are wonderful people everywhere and sometimes they can’t help saying things that feel hurtful or even ignorant because they just don’t have the same kind of worldview as a TCK does. I mean, they may never have been given the privilege of traveling before so it makes sense that their views seem narrower, or different from ours.

Nevertheless, I can confidently say that almost all TCKs have gone through similar experiences during their visits to their home countries. Unfortunately, it's just part of the life package given to this unique group of kids. 

The other day, a friend recommended a song called “Promises” by Maverick City to me. It is an uplifting song that talks about God’s never-ending faithfulness to us. The writer talks about how they feel they have no choice but to endlessly bless God’s name because of his unending faithfulness. This is true for all of us- but how can we truly bless God’s name?

I don’t know how you personally view your home country. Maybe you can relate to everything I just said and maybe you can’t. Regardless of how you feel about it, I would encourage you all to make it a goal to ask God to help you find ways to love and serve the people you meet on your summer travels.  Ask them about their lives and journeys. Who knows, you might even be able to relate to them in ways you never dreamed you would. Let’s seek to get out of our ruts of self pity and bitterness this summer and strive to open up to the people around us. By serving others we are truly blessing God’s name.

Go in peace guys, until next time!

Brittany