Happy. Nervous. Tired. Homesick. Relieved. Annoyed. Reunited. Awkward. Blissful. Lonely. Joyous. Overwhelmed.
Who knew “How are you?” could be such a complicated question. When I first arrived back in the states after being gone for about two years, my head was spinning. Everything felt so familiar except it didn’t. Everyone spoke my language but it only made me feel like an alien from Mars. I knew my cousins’ names, faces and what we used to do together but I no longer knew them. Talk about a fish out of water!
My family and I have been living overseas for the past four years, and even though there have been plenty of hard days, my host country has become like home. So, it was super weird going back to a place that HAD been home and that I EXPECTED to feel like home but didn’t at first.
It's hard sometimes for us TCKs (especially those who moved overseas later in their life) to know exactly where home is. Part of our heart is in our sending country and part of it is in our host country. Maybe you don't want to go back to the country you originally came from. Or maybe you want nothing more than to go back “home” wherever that may be. Or you might not have a clue where “home” is because you're not sure where “home” is! But one thing we can always be sure of as followers of Jesus, is that wherever we go the Lord will go there with us. In fact he’s already there! In Psalms 139: 3-7 it says,
“You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!”
King David knew that no matter where he went in the world, whether it be home or somewhere unfamiliar, the Lord would go with us. Not only would he go with us, it says that we would “place your hand of blessing on my head.” (Psalm 139: 5b). Wherever you end up, the Lord will be before and behind you, on your left and your right. He will bless you and bring you joy and peace that passes understanding.
So whenever you feel out of place, whether that be in the country you live in or in the country you're going back too, just remember that God is with you. He’ll be there for the bad days and the good. The crazy swirls of emotion. The awkward interactions. And in the quiet moments. He will never leave you nor forsake you and His plans are always, always good.
“The Lord went ahead of them. He guided them during the day with a pillar of cloud, and he provided light at night with a pillar of fire. This allowed them to travel by day or by night.”
~ Exodus 13: 21
Thank you for sharing this. "Home" is hard to identify and often after 36 years overseas the reality that heaven is my home makes it all worth it.