Is it even worth making friends?

When you’re a TCK, people come and go. It’s just a fact of life. Sometimes people can stay a very long time, but other times the time they stay can be very brief. There are many reasons why people have to leave, ranging from medical emergencies to God calling their families elsewhere, to war and violence. So many things can force people apart, and I know that I’ve experienced this many, many times. 

Eventually, the thought occurred to me. It was during my family’s home assignment in America, and we were going to Virginia for some meetings. While the parents did their thing, I was placed in youth. Youth was amazing and I met so many other kids like me: kids that understood me and the situation I was in. I became fast friends with all of them, and we had so much fun together. But about halfway through these meetings, the thought hit me hard. 

‘They’re going to leave, and you’re going to be alone again,’ it said. I was probably never going to see any of these kids again, and all these experiences we shared were never going to happen again. It crushed me. 

This thought was most likely made worse for me because I am a very deeply trusting and caring person, and I love everyone I meet. I give everyone my all, and in return I have made some pretty great friends that love me back. The problem is, everyone in my life never stays for very long. I’m not good at saying goodbye and letting go of people. I doubt I will ever be. I finished the meetings in tears, mourning all of my lost friends. In my head, I was already determined to never make another friend in my life. This resolve lasted for about three days, until I met more kids at our church. I was still sad, however, and I wished that I could just go back in time and live with my friends from the meeting forever. 

At some point later that trip, we got a chance to meet up with some of my childhood best friends. We shared a house and it was one of the best weeks of my life. Again, in the back of my head, the thought still lingered that this was going to be the last time I’d see them in at least four years, probably more. 

One day, I shared this thought with one of my friends. I told him that I wished I could live in my memories, when all of my friends were still with me. He paused for a minute before carefully responding. He said, “If you lived in your memories, you’d never make more.” This simple sentence hit me hard, and it still lives in my head today. 

It’s extremely true. If you’re stuck in your memories, you’re not making more. The best part of my life might still be ahead of me, and I don’t want to waste it thinking about the past. God gave me this life for a reason. I’m going to live it.