One domino in a line of them makes the rest of the dominos fall. One by one, they tumble towards the surface. It’s very satisfying to watch on YouTube shorts, but not as satisfying to watch when each domino represents an aspect of your carefully built and planned life.
The decision to move overseas was sudden but also wasn’t. My parents had thought about it for a while but it never felt real until they told us exactly where we were moving to. From there, everything changed. I was excited, terrified, flabbergasted. Reality has a way of catching you by surprise.
In the years that followed, my emotions changed to bitterness. I blamed my parents for all the hardships I was going through with transition, and God too, for calling them to ministry. Most of all, I couldn’t understand why my parents would do this to me. See, I was so focused on myself and “me, me, me” that I couldn’t see the bigger picture. I guess I felt like they hadn’t counted the cost of what their decision would mean for me. (There my selfishness is, yet again.)
I had a mindset I’ve heard other TCKs talk about struggling with. I thought that it was my parent’s calling so why bother? Why bother putting down roots where I was- as it was my parents called to live where we were? Why bother to help with ministry- since God called them, not me?
I don’t know what I was thinking because there is a huge flaw in that logic. If God called my parents, He also knew that I would end up with them. God doesn’t just see my parents, but he had seen me from the time he created me in the womb. He is the God who calls our names and hears us like he heard Ishmael in the desert crying for help. (As seen in Genesis 21). God didn’t just leave me out of the equation, instead He knew that I would go with my parents and the impact this would have on both me and my story.
In Romans 8:28, it says that He “works all things for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose.” My pastor aptly pointed out a few months ago how we remember the first part of that verse but leave out the second half that shows the purpose. Not only that, it demonstrates the plan of God, which guides His actions, ultimately remaining supreme. God doesn’t always just give us easy circumstances, he lets us go through hard things, like Job in his trials or Joseph being thrown into prison and remaining stuck there for an extended amount of time.
Joseph is actually a great example I think we can model after, as even in the prison, his dark place, God didn’t leave him (which is a good reminder to us) and he pointed others to God and his power, notably the cupbearer and baker as he interpreted their dreams. Through it, God uses him to point others to Him and to manifest his power. From this story I think we can take away that even in the midst of struggles, we can know that he will not leave us (also promised by Jesus in Matthew 28). Joseph also was a trusted figure and through God’s strength and provision he was given many responsibilities by the warden. I think that this also shows us that we can participate in the ministry of making God known by shining a light into dark places and pointing others to him, both by our words and deeds.
We as TCKs or MKs have an opportunity to shine a light into places others may never get to reach, whether it be in our schools or in daily interactions. No matter where we are we can and have a responsibility to shine for him and tell others of His great love. It is not just our parent’s ministry, because God doesn’t do anything by accident: you are where you are for a reason.
I am left with one part of my original problem to address: my bitterness towards my parents. I had already dealt with it a few years ago, but something an adult TCK said struck me and helped me to think about it differently. He was talking about how he swore he would never move his kids overseas. Fast forward a decade or two, and guess where he is? With his three kids, overseas. He said that when it came down to it, he had a choice- to follow God or not, and that was an easy choice for him. We can’t hold the choices our parents have made out of obedience to God against them, or blame them for following God, who has all of our best interests in mind.
Even though the dominos may have fallen in our childhood, leading us to a new life, God is sovereign and his plan trumps all. No matter the challenges we can know that He is with us and will never leave. His plan has placed us where we are, and through his strength and presence, we can use this to reach the many around us. Why then be bitter? Instead, should we not focus on where we are at and dive into the present instead of the “what if’s” and could have been’s”?
Rose
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