Why doesn’t home feel like home?

I believe a majority of TCK’s go through one major problem in their lives, no matter where they live. Eventually, TCK’s go back “home” to where their extended family is or where they moved from. And if it’s their first time back, they might have a glorified image of what home or their friends are like. Everything seems better if they can just get home. Yet, once they get back to their home country, there’s a crushing reality that it just doesn’t feel like home anymore. 

If I just described you, then you have experienced one of the major downsides of being a TCK. When you have lived in multiple different places, you can feel one of two different things. You can either feel like you are easily adaptable and that you can fit in anywhere, or you can feel like you don’t really belong anywhere. I think a majority of TCK’s fall into the latter category, where they lack a sense of belonging and community. 

It can be a really big shock when you go back home and it’s different than you remember it. Whether it’s people growing older, old places like your favorite restaurant closing down, or even just the food tasting different than you remembered it; all of these things can contribute to the feeling that something changed, and that you didn’t change along with it. 

I remember when this happened to me. It was when my cousins and friends got older and turned into teenagers. I hadn’t seen them for four years, and suddenly they were all talking about popular clothes, hairstyles, celebrity drama, or new mutual friends that they had. It made me feel left out because I didn’t know how to talk about those things; and honestly, nor did I care for them. The priorities I had were very different from my friends. After having seen violence and starvation firsthand, I didn’t care to discuss trivial matters like they were important. It was part of their culture to make small things seem like a big deal… But that wasn’t my culture. 

Feeling like you don’t belong anywhere can be a very depressing feeling, and it can lead to some serious mental and emotional problems. However, this mentality that we don’t belong anywhere is not a mentality that comes from God. It is therefore not true. In the Bible, we can see that we belong to God and Him alone. Romans 8:14 says that, “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” This means that if we are led by the Spirit we are the actual children of God and will be with Him one day. Hebrews 13:14 furthers this by saying, “For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the one that is to come.” This means that our home is not here on earth, but in heaven with God. 

So next time you feel sad because it doesn’t feel like you belong anywhere, remember this: We belong in heaven with God. That is the one place that won’t change or fade away, and that is where we fit in. This world is an ever-changing place, and we won’t ever belong to it. But, we can have confidence that we always will have a place where we truly belong.