Almost every TCK has moved at least once in their life. They understand the hardships that come with it: leaving memories, people, & comfort behind. But with moving also comes welcoming new experiences, new friendships, & trusting God with the unknown. The process brings many bittersweet feelings. Often when I moved I was excited, joyful, & curious, but at the same time, I was sad, anxious, & worried. Along with the stress and excitement, moves are accompanied by so many goodbyes. No matter if it's you or if it's a friend moving - it still hurts. I have moved a total of ten times in my life and I am only fourteen. That might be a lot for some of you and it might be only half as many as others. But no matter how many times you've moved, you've still experienced the pain & joys that come with it. In today's article, I thought some of my TCK friends and I could talk a little bit about what God has taught us through moving & in what ways moving has impacted us. We will talk about the pain that comes with moving, but at the same time, the joy.
Aliana
As someone who has been a TCK since I was born, moving is something I have had to deal with a lot. It's not always easy. In fact, it almost gets harder and harder each time. I have found that as I get older, friendships have become more and more important to me. But unfortunately, when you are constantly leaving people and places, it can be hard to get to know people well. When you're younger you don't really know your friends as well as you do when you are older. For some reason when I was younger moving was a little easier, which I suspect is partly because my friendships now are deeper than they were back then. Yes, it still affected me then, but in different ways than it does now. I am so thankful because God has truly blessed me with such incredible, kind, loving, and God-fearing friends, who I have become really close with. Even through many moves, we are still able to keep in contact and we are closer than ever. Close friends can be super hard to find even when you aren't always moving. I am so thankful that God has provided that for me. For a long time, I didn't have that. In fact, it wasn't until I was 12 that I had really close friends. I prayed a lot for those kinds of friendships and God provided. If you don't have close friendships, and it's something you do want, pray. I promise God listens. He knows what is best for you. Trust in Him and His plan.
In the summer of 2020, my family and I were visiting the States. Because COVID had just begun, we had no idea how long we would be here. Due to COVID we also were not able to say goodbye to our friends before we left, which was hard. After a few months of visiting family, my parents told my siblings and I that we were moving to the States temporarily. This was something that I had never done. In fact, the longest I had ever been in the States at one time was 8 months, and that was years ago. I was excited because it was a new adventure and I was curious to see what God had in store for us here. At the same time, it was really hard because I had to say goodbye once again. I'm sure you all know what it's like to say goodbye. They never get easier. The next few days after I heard that we were moving, I FaceTimed my friends to tell them the news. It was one of the hardest things to do. Those friends that I had grown close to, the ones I had prayed years for, the ones God finally provided for me, I had to leave. But more than that, I had to tell them the news myself. That is no easy news to tell. How are you supposed to explain to your closest friends that you're leaving and you have no idea when you'll see them again? Let me tell you, it's NOT easy. Throughout this move, I worried a lot. I worried about missing out on all the things my friends would be doing, I worried that I would not make friends in the US, and worried that I wouldn't be able to stay as close to my friends in the country I was leaving. So, I prayed, giving my worries to the Lord. He gave me peace in a time of uncertainty. It took time, months even, to make friends, but I can say that I now have amazing, Godly friends here where we live. I often call and keep up with my friends in South Asia. We're even closer than we were when I left! Now, more than a year later I can see the plan God had and all the good that came out of something that seemed so sad at the time.
I miss South Asia; the people, the memories. But I am cherishing this new chapter God is writing and all the different things He is doing in my life. I treasure all the people I’ve met and all the friendships I’ve made here. I’m so glad that God is in control. Just a reminder that God’s plan is higher and better than what we could ever imagine. He knows what He’s doing.
Being a TCK is hard at times, I think we all know that. But I hope you also know that you aren't alone in your pain. Others struggle with the same thing and if you're a Christian, you have the most caring and powerful being on your side. God is watching out for you. It takes a long time to make friends, trust me, I know. Sometimes it can be hard to trust that the Lord has a plan that is good for your life, but He truly does. It's the most perfect plan that could ever be. Trust Him with your life. He's got you & will provide - it just might be in a different way than expected. Though moving can be hard, along with all the change that comes with it, God can bring good out of every circumstance. Even if you can't see the plan God is laying out for your life right now, years later you will see that for everything there is a purpose. Throughout my life, the Lord has taught me to trust in His perfect plan. In ways I never imagined, God has provided. And He will do the same for you if you trust wholly in Him.
Kasey
In my life, I have lived in 5 cities, 3 countries, gone to 5 schools, and moved between 5-9 times (it depends on what you include in 'moving'), so you could say I'm pretty experienced with moving and with change. Note that I said 'experienced', not 'good'. I have never been great with change, and my family knows that well. Even though I don't like it, I have to go through so much change as a TCK- moving is probably the biggest change.
Like Aliana, my friendships have gotten deeper as I have gotten older, and that has definitely made moving harder. At the same time, having such great friends allows me to see God's blessings. When we moved between countries when I was thirteen, I had lost a significant number of my friends over the past few months to moves, other people, or we had just grown apart. While that was so hard and painful at the time, I see how God was preparing me to move. If I was still trying to hold on to friendships in my previous city, I would not have been as open and receptive to new friends in my new place. Similar to that, has been what's been going on in my life over the past few months. My family is currently in the US for some time, but we plan to return to South Asia in 2022. While it was hard to leave our country in South Asia knowing we'd be gone for so long, it has been easier because most of my friends there are also moving/have moved. I had a 'core group' of six other friends, and five of them have moved or will have moved by the time I return. This has made it easier for me to throw myself into activities here in the states and to not worry about what I'm missing out on back in my host country. While I don't know what will happen when I return to South Asia, I do know that God has a plan, and his plan is SO much better than mine. That is something God has told me, again and again: the way I try to plan things out may not be (and 99% of the time is not) the best way!
Another way I've seen God's blessings while moving is in the surprises he gives us. We moved cities when I was ten, and as I grew up a bit and entered middle school, God blessed us with a family we had no idea was going to live in our city! We played baseball together (well, some of us did. not me!), went to camp together, went to youth group together, had adventures on the metro, and even met up on vacation! While none of us even live in that country anymore, and we aren't as close as we were then, God surprised us with such a great family to be friends with during that season!
Seasons have been something that I've been learning about over the past few months/year or two. My mom and I have had many talks about seasons, and one thing that she always tells me is that "some friends are for a season." This is advice that I stubbornly pushed away when she first gave it to me (I was losing some of my closest friends at the time) but that now I try to always keep in my mind because I've found that it's true. Sometimes God gives us friends only for a season, however long that season is- a few months, the time in one city, etc. These friends aren't meant to be lifelong friends- and that's ok! You cannot keep up with all of your friends that you've ever had for your entire life. God may send you a friend who is perfect for the situation that you are in but then you grow apart or someone moves- that's ok! We have to learn to keep up with friends without trying to keep everything the same.
Edward
Check out the interview I (Aliana) had with Edward last month here! He's been a TCK all his life and his family just recently moved to Europe, so he is going through a new transition even now...
One of the hardest things for me in moving into a new location is making new friends. As a missionary, I am constantly moving to new places, and I am sometimes used to not fitting in. One of the first things that I want is to have people to hang out with in the new country. This move has been one of the hardest for me because I had many great friends who were my age before I moved. Thankfully there are a lot of people my age here in our new country, and so I have already started to get to know them. I am excited to join a sports team or to join a church here in our new country very soon. God has made our trip very easy, and we had no problems with our airplane, luggage, or even our dog! I am so thankful for the ways that He has helped us in ways to move whether giving us a place to stay, giving us meals each day, or even giving us such a great house to move in!
I want to thank Kasey & Edward for helping me out with this article. :)
I hope that this gives you hope & encouragement if you are going through a move or a big change in your life right now. Remember that throughout all of this, God is with you, holding on tight to you. He has planned your whole life out already, so trust Him because He has it worked out. I promise you that worrying and stressing won't help you at all, trust and prayer will. Give it all to Jesus, He's ready to listen. I also hope that if you've never had to move or you've never had to experience this, that this article gives you an idea of what some people have to go through. But what I really want everyone to learn from this article is that no matter what you are doing, no matter what is going on in your life, no matter who you are: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6) & remember, "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:9) Have a great day everyone! ~ Aliana 🌻
Comments